Two Tip Tuesday #24: What to do when your kid still can't take no for an answer

Welcome to this week’s Two Tip Tuesday—where I share one parenting insight and one outside resource that might make your life a little easier.

Let’s dive in.

1.  What to Do When Your Child Can't Take No for an Answer?

Last week’s tip was about how to help kids handle disappointment when you say no to something. Read my "Handle the No" tip <HERE>. 

One mom emailed me and asked what to do if her kid still can't take no for answer: She said:

• What do you do when the pushback continues, and your child has a big tantrum - possibly doing things you can't ignore, like blocking you from walking away, destroying things, or making you late?

Here’s the gist of what I told her:

When a full-blown meltdown erupts because you said no, it’s a sign he’s still learning to handle it. And that’s okay. It takes practice.

In that moment, your job isn’t to discipline the explosion, but to:

• Keep everyone safe

• Let the disappointment run its course

• Offer de-escalating words that show him you get his point of view (I call this “feeling gotten”)

Don’t add to the upset by disciplining the meltdown. That teaching comes later. In the heat of the moment, your job is to make him less defensive, not more.

You can also build the skill of “handling the no” outside the moment by:

• Playing pretend or switching roles (where he practices losing, or watches you model it)

• Talking about characters from TV, movies or books who handle disappointment well

• Reflecting on moments when he “handled the no” gracefully

• Suggesting simple self-talk: “This is hard, but I can handle it.”

  
  

It takes practice—and remember, practice makes progress.

2.  Support for Sensory and Emotional Regulation

If you found the first tip relevant, you'll probably find this resource useful as well.

When kids melt down over transitions, blow up when mom says no, get overwhelmed in loud spaces, or seem drained by the end of the day, it could be more than a developmental stage or a bad mood. It could be a sign of nervous system dysregulation. 

My colleague Elizabeth Sautter is hosting a 90-minute workshop with Dr. Kelly Mahler on Tuesday, April 29, all about INTEROCEPTION.

What's that, you ask?  It's how your child reads and responds to their body’s internal messages that say "Hey, I need something."  

This event will cover:

• Why some kids can’t self-regulate until they feel totally overloaded

• How interoception helps their emotional growth and independence

• Tools to support sensory and emotional awareness in daily life

  
  

If you can't make it live, sign up and get the replay.

Interoception Awareness: The Missing Link to Sensory and Emotional Regulation in Everyday Life

Practical Strategies for Parents and Educators to Support Emotional Growth and Sensory Regulation

>> Sign up here <<

By the way, this is great for parents, therapists, and teachers alike. If regulation is a challenge in your household or with your students or clients, I highly recommend

checking it out.

❤️ Rachel