How to Handle Tantrums: Fiery vs. Watery Tantrums + 3 Summer Tips

Hope you're hanging in. Just a reminder: emotional growth doesn't always look like progress. Sometimes it looks like a tantrum first.

Welcome to Two Tip Tuesday, where I send one short parenting insight and one resource (or in this case, three) I think you’ll love.

Let’s dive in…

1. How to Handle Tantrums: Flip the Switch from Fiery to Watery?

As a parenting coach, I help a lot of families figure out how to handle tantrums.  

There’s the fiery tantrum—defiant, stubborn, explosive.

And then there’s the watery tantrum—vulnerable, teary, and flexible.

Both are normal. But one is a lot easier to handle.

Your job is to learn how to help your child switch from fire to water.

Your job isn’t to stop the tantrum.

It's to help it shift from fire to water. 

The “fiery” phase is all defense: I won’t! You can’t make me!

The “watery” phase is vulnerable: I’m disappointed. I feel powerless. I’m sad.

It’s much easier to hold your child through that second one, and it’s what actually leads to growth.

So, how do you make the switch? For my most strong-willed son, I cracked the code on this at age 4 or 5, but it's different for every kid.

Once I stopped trying to convince my son to calm down or see my point of view, and instead tried to name his point of view, he'd relax and melt into my arms.

Look for ways to help your child STOP: 

• Seeing you as the enemy.

•  Feeling corrected or debated.

•  Feeling misunderstood.

Again, every kid is different, and your task is to figure out what helps your child switch from fire (intense and heated) to water (soft and fluid).

Those watery tears are a sign that your child feels safe enough to feel the feels.

You can address the fiery behavior later. Using good timing is a sign of leadership, not permissive parenting.  

2. Three Ideas for a (More) Screen-Free Summer

Summer is coming—and so is the screen time drama. Here are 3 tools I love that make it a little easier:

1. Kids Bowl Free

   Your kids can bowl for free all summer. You just pay for the shoes. Find an alley near you and > Sign up here using my special link. 

   
   

2. Life Skills Summer Camp

   A free week of online life skills training—cooking, laundry, budgeting, and more.  > Here's another special link to grab your spot. 

   
   

3. My Free "Screen-Free Summer" Workshop

   Next week, I’m hosting a workshop about helping you manage the summer screen drama with your (screen addicted?) son. > Save your seat here.

   
   
   
   

❤️ Rachel

P.S.  Are you a well-connected mom who wants to help me spread the word about my workshop and earn cash? Contact me. I'd love to partner with you.