Why Your Child Can't "Read the Room" And What to Do About Your Own Phone Habits (Two Tip Tuesday #26)

I have a lot to share since I've been away from writing, so let's dive into two power tips that can transform your parenting this week. Focus on the one you need most and let me know what resonates!

Tip #1: Teach Your Child to "Read the Room"

Do you ever wish your child was better at "reading the room"? Like, if only they could truly understand what the situation calls for and then adjust their behavior accordingly?

I met a mom last week whose kid is really bad at this. This kid walks into every room full force, bursting with whatever emotion or thought is top of mind with little regard for the situation. It's only when grandma is around that things are mellow.

Mom wants to know: "Why Grandma and not me?" and "How do we teach kids to dial it down without dimming their light?"

Here's what most parents miss: "Reading the Room" isn't about manners. It's a complex skill that depends on four key factors:

Development: What are they capable of at their age?

Temperament: What's their natural way of being in the world?

Neurology: Does their unique brain lead to unique behavior? Think ASD, SPD, ADHD.

Environment: How is the environment (past and present) shaping their behavior?

This is where your parenting matters most.

How well your child adapts to a situation isn't a choice they make consciously. It's not a function of defiance. It's a function of who they are in a given moment.

And they are not a problem to fix. They are a powerhouse.

They need people in their lives who build them up while teaching them to love themselves in the face of any situation and show them how to adapt to the world with integrity (not mask their authentic selves in shame).

The next time your child is failing to "read the room," try looking at them through the lens of development, temperament, neurology, and environment and see if the behavior makes more sense.

What do you notice?

• More compassion?

• More patience?

• More drive to help them out?

• Less temptation to punish?

• An urge to call a friend or get support?

• 
  

Tell me: Which factor plays the biggest role in your child's (in)ability to read a room? When I coach parents, THAT'S where we start the conversation.

I'm currently reading the book!

Tip #2: How to Be Indistractable

Has your mind ever wandered while your child was talking to you? Congratulations. You're normal.

But have your eyes ever wandered to your phone while your child is telling you a story? Yeah, that's different.

I'm as guilty as the next mom for letting my phone distract me and then blaming my kid for being distracted by his screens. Would you like some fries with that double standard? I would.

Your tip is to name it when it happens:

"Hold on. I looked at my phone while you were talking. Not cool. My bad. Can I have a do over?"

OR:

"Yikes. That's not how I want to treat you. If I do it again, feel free to point it out."

This isn't about being perfect. It's about being honest about your own struggles with attention and showing your kids how to handle mistakes with grace.

Your Next Step

Pick the tip that resonates most with your current challenges:

For Tip #1: The next time your child misses social cues, pause before reacting. Ask yourself: Is this a development issue? A temperament mismatch? A neurological difference? Or an environment that isn't supporting their success?

For Tip #2: Notice when you're distracted by your phone during family time. Practice naming it and asking for a do-over. Your kids will remember your honesty more than your perfection.

The goal isn't to eliminate all social missteps or digital distractions. It's to approach both with more awareness, compassion, and intentionality.

Looking for more practical parenting tips that actually work? Join other parents who are finding real solutions for everyday challenges.