Being Fully Present With Your Child Is An Act Of Love
I've been thinking about this idea a lot lately because it's honestly very hard for me to be fully present with my children.
I'm so distracted by everything else that needs to be done and all the things "demanding" my attention…
A text about tomorrow's carpool
A half-done chore that annoys me
Oh crap! I forgot to schedule that appointment
Let me just pay this bill real quick...
We have to make a card for teacher appreciation week!
Why aren’t you in the shower yet?...
Given all of this, it’s no wonder it’s hard to be present!
So this is the inquiry I'm in right now: How do I transform my relationship with all of these "demands" so that I can show up for myself and my kids as LOVE?
This is who I really want to be with them after all. Not busy doing everything else while they fall to the bottom of the barrel of my priority list.
I recently heard that "inquiry adds a magical quality to daily life” and I’m aiming for magic here.
So just like I coach parents all day long by asking tough questions, I try to ask myself hard questions too. Like, “Why is it harder to be present with my kids in this situation but not that one?”
Or "Why am I so resistant to being fully present with my kids and so eager to be present at work?”
Research shows that "parental insightfulness" leads to better outcomes for kids.
So I invite you to get curious about whether or not you're fully present with your child and if not, what's stopping you? Is it worth it? Would it feel like an act of love to be fully present with them?
P.S. Don’t be afraid to ask your kids hard questions too to help them flex this muscle and learn to be insightful. Instead of asking why did something happen, consider questions like: “Why is hard to get along with this kid at recess and not that one?" Or "Why is it easy to brush your teeth in the morning and not the night?" Or, “What’s the hardest thing to share with your brother?”