There’s something I believe parents get wrong…

The belief that they can “parent behavior _out_ of their kid”.

“If I just say the right thing… If I just do the right thing… then they’ll stop behaving so badly.”

I’m sorry to say, it doesn’t work that way.

You cannot parent behavior “out” of your strong-willed child.

It’s time to shift the focus from fixing your child to fixing the system.

And one way to do that is by centering the parent-child relationship.

When my client’s sons are struggling, I coach them to bring a level of compassion and understanding for his experience instead of coming down on him for his behavior.

So think: The next time your son is struggling, what will it take for you to respond to him by centering your relationship, rather than having a primal, controlling reaction?

It’s not easy, and you don’t have to be perfect. It’s a practice.

Our job as mothers to beautiful, sentient, strong-willed boys is to show empathy, understanding, and kindness because that is how you raise a boy who will do the same.