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Two Tip Tuesday #7: Third Party Parenting and a Surprising Book Every #BoyMom Needs to Read

On Sunday, I reunited with two of my kids after a full month of sleepaway camp. I missed them in my bones, and I'm so glad to have them home...messy bedrooms, dirty dishes, smelly feet and all!


This week's pro tip and red hot resource are two things I tell my clients all the time.


1.  Third Party Parenting


I made this term up when my kids were little and I still use it to this day. I recently saw it used for sperm or egg donation - it's not that!


Third Party Parenting is when you create a system or you reference something or someone that isn't you to give your child instructions on how to act.


Examples: 


1.  My client made a dessert menu for the week and pointed to it anytime her kids asked "What's for dessert?" The menu became the third-party parent in that moment. 


2.  My friend's son wanted to stay home alone overnight and skip a family trip. Instead of saying no, she helped her son research the law, which acted as the third party parent.


3.  I refer my kids to Common Sense Media all the time to check whether they can watch a movie or TV show. It depends on the rating! 


If a system doesn't exist, make one up and point to it!


When kids see that there's a third-party parent in charge, it takes the load off of you so you can help them execute the plan or help them move through their big feelings about it.   


The author is smiling and pointing to the book she recommends in this post

2.  My Favorite #BoyMom Book will Surprise You! 


One of the best #boymom parenting books I've ever read isn't a parenting book at all. It's a relationship book that taught me so much about the way my boys' brains function and completely altered the way I parent them.


It started when my husband and I read How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Patrica Love and Steven Stosny with hopes of up-leveling our own marriage, but we got so much more from it! 


We learned that the male and female brain desire connection equally, but how they connect differs. I followed the steps and started connecting with my sons differently, and it made all the difference.


Come to think of it, maybe this should be our next book group topic.   If you like that idea, let me know! 


❤️ Rachel


P.S. As always, you can catch last week's tips right here.



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