Thanks to the moms who reached out about The Boy Mom Academy. We already have a good sized group of intelligent and dedicated parents who are supporting each other and becoming experts in The Boy Mom Method.
Today's first tip is one I share with clients All. The. Time. Your second tip is to imagine yourself joining the Academy. Here we go!
1. Teach Your Child About Counteroffers
Teaching kids to make "counteroffers" is a ninja parenting move. Sure, it's annoying when kids negotiate incessantly, but we can teach them to do it with maturity and mindfulness. Here's how:
During a connected moment when your child's mind is calm and open to learning, teach them the word "counteroffer," no matter how young they are. You can say:
"When I ask you to do something, like set the table for dinner, or get off screens, or call your grandma, or hand me that toy, and you don't want to do it, you can make a counteroffer. That's where you propose something different. Then, I get to accept or reject your offer."
Give them lots of examples. Here are some from my family.
ME: Please take a break from your homework and feed the dog. HIM: Can I do it after I finish this math sheet. ME: Sure.
ME: Hey, it's time to empty the dishwasher and it's your day to do it. HIM: Can I make a counteroffer? ME: Sure. HIM: Would it be okay if I did it after soccer practice? ME: No, I need it done before you leave so I can load the dirty dishes. HIM: Okay, can I do it in 5 minutes? ME: Sure.
ME: Don't forget that it's your night to clean the kitchen. HIM: If I make dinner, can you do my clean up job for me? ME: What would you cook for dinner? HIM: Cereal. ME: No, thank you.
I know what you're thinking. What if they don't follow through? Then don't accept their counteroffer next time...and let them know that counteroffers are about building trust and respect in families. You're promising to be respectful of their time and needs while teaching them to respect your time and needs.
It won't always "work" and it's not there to control your child. But if you build a culture in your home where everyone's time matters and communication is paramount, I guarantee, you'll raise a child who knows how to work as a team in your family.
2. Imagine Joining The Boy Mom Academy™
Last week, I announced the soft opening of The Boy Mom Academy.
This week, I'm inviting you to imagine what it would feel like to join the Academy.
No pressure. Just a little visualization.
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Take a deep breath. Or two. Relax your body.
Now imagine yourself at the end of a long day of parenting. There were tears (maybe even yours). There was pushback, defiance, and ignoring. You tried everything. It was frustrating. You feel confused, disconnected, worried, and bone tired.
But, you're in The Boy Mom Academy, so you know you're not alone and there's a place to get support, advice, and encouragement.
You remember that you're an intelligent, resourceful person. You're a lifelong learner. You're curious and motivated to succeed. Your love for your son is fierce.
So you check in with your Academy community. You post a question and get instant support. You review your plan for tomorrow and go to bed feeling ready to approach your son's challenges with grace and ease.
You're confident that your son will grow up to be a wonderful man who has empathy for others. He will regulate his own emotions and speak kindly in every circumstance. He will tell you his problems and be eager to spend time with you.
And it will be thanks to you and the time you invested in understanding and meeting his core emotional needs.
It's the end of a long day, but you feel proud of yourself and a job well done.
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I originally created The Boy Mom METHOD for myself - so I could feel this way every day.
Now, I've created The Boy Mom ACADEMY for you - so YOU can feel this way every day, and we can raise our boys together.
If you want more information on how to join, just hit reply and I'll send you exactly what you need.
❤️ Rachel
P.S. There's no limit to what's possible when we raise our boys to be emotionally attuned. I didn't always think this way, but I've got at least 3 pieces of evidence that you can turn things around using my methods...before it's too late:
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