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Writer's pictureRachel Sklar

Two Tip Tuesday #15: Building Trust Through Gratitude: 'Thank You for Telling Me' Changes Everything

I've been busy as a bee building something special for all the boy moms out there....drum roll please... It's called: 


The Boy Mom Academy™


Next week, I'll unveil more details. This week, I'm looking for early adopters to help me iron out the wrinkles. If The Boy Mom Academy piques your interest, contact me and I'll bring you into the fold. 


Meanwhile here's your tip and red hot resource for the week:


1.  Thank You For Telling Me That


Try saying, "Thank you for telling me that" after your child tells you something hard. I know it's tempting to disagree or respond with your point of view, but that can come later. Let's start with gratitude.


Example: Your son says "It's not fair. You never punish Johnny and I'm always getting in trouble. You hate me."


Instead of saying, "That's not true. We love you. But I can't let you hit Johnny. He's only 3 and still learning to share. You're 7 and know better."


Try saying, "Whoah, I didn't you know you felt that way. Thank you for telling me that."


This will open the conversation instead of shutting it down. 


This also works if your child doesn't share their feelings but agrees with your empathetic words.


Example:  You say, "I saw Johnny take that toy from you. I wonder if it feels unfair that you got in trouble for hitting him after he started it."  (To which he nods emphatically or says "YES EXACTLY!")


Instead of saying, "Well, life isn't fair. You're the big brother. You have to make better choices."


Try saying: "Wow, thank you for telling me that."


The point is that thanking your child for every nugget they give you will open the door to more sharing and a more authentic relationship with them.


Thank your child for giving you insight into their world...whether they delivered the message themself or agreed with something you said. 


2.  Reduce Stress and Boost Executive Function


If your child struggles with basic routines, managing tasks, completing chores, or just listening skills, you’re not alone!


These challenges are often linked to poor "executive functioning" skills. This means that the brain's roadmap for planning ahead, staying focused, and managing life...is still loading.


It's not necessarily a sign of developmental delay. It's a sign of childhood (and often adulthood ).


If your child needs help with executive functioning, sign up HERE to get practical ideas on adjusting your parenting approach.


My colleagues Elizabeth Sautter and Sarah Ward are experts in executive dysfunction and they'll take good care of you. They specialize in neurodivergent kids, but I think this workshop is great for all families. 


The image promotes a Parent/Educator Workshop titled "Empower Listening and Learning at Home & School – Back to School Edition." It features experts Elizabeth Sautter, a Speech-Language Pathologist, and Sarah Ward, an Executive Dysfunction Treatment specialist. The event is scheduled for September 25, 2024, at 9:30 am PT/12:30 pm ET on Zoom. Registration details are provided at www.elizabethsautter.com/register.

It's not free, but it's a fraction of the cost of a single session with an executive functioning coach, which can cost $225+.


If you can't attend live on Sept 25th, 2024 register anyway and you'll get the recording.



❤️ Rachel


P.S. Don't forget to hit reply if you're interested in The Boy Mom Academy™.  I'll send you info and a short application to ensure it's a great fit for you.


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