Feel like you’re in a constant power struggle with your son?
That’s means that what you’re doing isn’t working, so I’d love to help you shift your approach to try collaborating with him instead.
Collaboration is a different way of working with your son to solve problems and this works particularly well with strong-willed boys because they really just want to be a part of the pack.
Whereas one-sided problem solving (“do as I say or else”) may seem controlling and cause your son to push back. Partnering to find a solution gives him a sense of belonging, a critical need for boys.
When you partner with your son to solve recurring problems, you actually empower him to be a problem solver and responsible decision maker.
Here’s what’s cool: Even the youngest members of your family can learn this valuable skill if you take the time to teach them.
To make collaboration work with your son, FOCUS on specific problems. Don't try to tackle all the issues at once. For example, instead of focusing on picky eating, focus on what to eat for breakfast before school. This helps your son understand that you're not trying to control his entire life, but simply working together to find a solution to a specific problem.
Children resist feeling controlled, but they usually appreciate being a part of decision making and feeling valued in their families. By solving problems together, you show your son that his opinions and feelings matter and you're willing to work with him to find a solution that works for both of you.