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Creating Micro-Connections

“Parenting Micro-Aggressions” are those little things we do throughout the day that knock our kids down a notch. “You didn’t do this!” “You did this wrong.” “Why would you do that?!”

I teach my clients to avoid micro-aggressions with their kids, but more importantly to increase what I call micro-connections.

Trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry taught me that children benefit from both:

  • “Relational Wealth” (LOTS of positive relationships), and

  • “Relational Health” (emotionally healthy relationships)

So let’s increase both of those 👆 using micro-connections.


Add more compliments, more I love yous, more little moments that say to your child “I see you and you’re special and you’re not alone and you belong here and you’re exactly where you need to be.”

Dr. Perry said that giving a child a high five in the hallway can have more therapeutic benefit than an hour of talk therapy.

That blew my mind!

Sometimes I say to my kids, “Raise your hand if you love your mommy,” and when they raise their hand, I tickle their armpits and we crack up.

Those little moments are priceless, but we forget about them when we’re stressed and rushed and distracted by our agenda.

I invite you to join me in adding more micro-connections to your relationship with your child. Randomly. Whenever. In the hallway. In the car. Especially when you’re stressed out.

And Let’s create more opportunities for those little moments, not just with us, but with lots of people in their lives (and ours!).


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